The Heart of Conflict and the Hope of Restoration
Everyone in a relationship or community will eventually engage in times of conflict: being hurt or being let down. There will be a time when opposing views are presented, and you have your stance, and the other person has their stance, you disagree on direction, something is at risk, or a position, the appropriate relationship direction…etc. With a proper view and evaluation of the different positions, you can seek to understand a pathway to resolve conflict.
At the root of every conflict is the human heart — a heart with desires, many of which go unfulfilled. James 4:1-2 reminds us, "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?" The heart reveals that it is not only opposing someone else or their views, but also reveals that the old heart has the tendency to go against God. When you want something and feel or think that you will not be satisfied unless you get it, that desire starts to control you. If others fail to meet our desires, we sometimes condemn them in our hearts and fight harder to get our own way.
We are encouraged to partner with God in the mundane, moment-by-moment putting things back together – your identity and help restore identity. God wants us to co-labor with him to “put” the pieces back together, which means to reconcile people back to him. But He wants us to ensure that the justice we seek is His justice and not ours. We can recognize this by checking our hearts and seeing if there is any unforgiveness, offense, or selfishness present at the time of accepting God’s invitation to bring about justice during a conflict. This is not about balancing things in our favor; it is balancing towards the favor of God and all His creation.
What does He invite us to do? Remind ourselves of the objective truth, refrain from allowing subjective truth or our circumstances to rule and reign in our lives, and do the same for our spouses or people we encounter. We are invited to remind them of the objective truths that are to govern their decisions and views of themselves, and remind ourselves that God has equipped us to do this!
We are encouraged to partner with Him in the mundane, moment-by-moment putting things back together – our identity and help restore their identity. How does He partner with us? And how does He equip us to put the world back together? Answer: It is with a New Heart – packaged with His Laws or Rules and Statutes, or Decrees.
Statutes/Decrees and Laws/Rules
The Decree of a New Heart
Ezekiel 36:26-27 says, "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you." This is a decree, not a suggestion. God promises transformation. In conflict, this new heart is essential. The old heart seeks revenge, but the new heart seeks restoration. The old heart clings to offense. The new heart moves toward peace.
We can unpack the spiritual application with the promise of a New Heart as stated in Ezekiel 36:26-27, God gives a powerful decree — a promise — to transform hearts. Originally given to Israel, this promise is extended to all people through the New Covenant in Christ (see Hebrews 8:7–9:28). Let us now connect this concept to truth and formation in Scripture.
Ezekiel 36:26-27 (NIV)
"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws."
Have you ever wondered what the difference is between laws and decrees? As a follower of Christ, this is an important fundamental truth.
Understanding the Difference Between Laws/Rules and Decrees/Statutes
As you explore the foundational concept in both civil society and biblical teaching: the difference between laws and decrees, while they may sound similar, these terms serve different roles in governance and justice, both in the earthly systems and in divine matters.
What is a Decree?
A decree is a formal decision or command, usually given by a court or high authority, that resolves a particular issue or sets a specific action into motion. It's often linked to a particular case or situation and is usually enforceable immediately.
What is a Law?
Laws are overarching rules that govern behavior across entire societies. They are written and passed by legislatures or developed over time through customs and judicial decisions. Unlike decrees, laws are designed to apply broadly to people or situations.
Reflection Activity: (PAUSE)
Compare the Old and New Heart
What are the characteristics of the old heart?
How does the new heart differ in attitude, purpose, and responsiveness?
Why Did God Promise a New Heart?
Reflect on God’s desire for transformation, not just behavior change.
Laws and Decrees in the Context of Conflict
As stated earlier, conflict is a natural part of life, whether between individuals, within families, in communities, or between nations. Understanding how laws and decrees function amid conflict can help us navigate these situations wisely and justly.
How Laws Relate to Conflict
Prevention of Conflict
Laws exist primarily to set expectations and boundaries for behavior. By providing clear standards (e.g., no stealing, fair contracts, traffic rules), they help reduce misunderstandings and prevent disputes from arising in the first place.Resolution of Conflict
When conflict does occur, laws offer an organized way to resolve disputes. Courts rely on laws to determine right from wrong, to award justice, and to restore broken relationships or rights.Accountability
Laws ensure that individuals or parties who act unjustly are held accountable. This creates a culture of responsibility and fairness, discouraging people from taking justice into their own hands.
How Decrees Relate to Conflict
Application to Specific Situations
While laws are general, decrees are applied to particular types of conflicts. For example, in a legal dispute over property, a judge might issue a decree declaring who the rightful owner is. That decree resolves the conflict for that specific case.Restorative or Directive Action
Decrees often go beyond simply identifying who is at fault; they prescribe what should happen next, such as compensation, custody arrangements, or orders to cease certain behaviors.Finality and Peace
A final decree brings legal closure. It ends uncertainty and provides a foundation for peace and reconciliation, especially when the parties respect and comply with the decision.
Spiritual Perspective on Conflict
From a biblical view, conflict stems from the fallen nature of humanity (James 4:1-2). God’s laws serve to reveal sin, restrain evil, and guide righteous living (Romans 7:7, Galatians 3:24). His decrees — especially those made through Christ — offer restoration, transformation, and reconciliation.
Psalm 119:165 (NIV):
"Great peace have those who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble."
Isaiah 26:3 (NIV):
"You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you."
Reflection Questions:
How do human laws help maintain peace in society?
Have you ever experienced a conflict that was resolved because of a clear rule or legal decision?
What are some divine decrees that have brought peace or clarity to your own life?
Practical Application
Examine your heart: Is there unforgiveness? Bitterness? Pride? (Psalm 139:23-24)
Pursue God's justice, not personal victory.
Be willing to be the first to reconcile, even when you're not at fault.
Speak the truth, but do so in love. Be a bridge, not a barrier.
Pray something like this:
"Lord, give me a new heart. Teach me to follow Your laws and submit to Your decrees. Use me to bring peace where there is strife, and justice where there is brokenness. Let my life be a vessel for Your mission of reconciliation."